hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
