You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Randomize
