Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
