I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
