I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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