i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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