Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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