it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
