Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Randomize
