Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Randomize
