Tell her she can't have a vagina
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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