you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
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I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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