You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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