Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
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Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
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Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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