Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
