Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
