U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
