Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
