Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
