She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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