Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
