i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
love makes seman taste better
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
