im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
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