Where is the hickey?
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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