Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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