I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
