and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Randomize
