you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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