My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Randomize
