My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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