my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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