That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
