Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
should my penis look like a turkey
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
