i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Randomize
