Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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