I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
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