I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Randomize
