Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
