here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
