It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
