I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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