we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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