Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
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