Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
