:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
