remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
