I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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