so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
i now understand why vodka
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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