Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize