you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
