he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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