are you still at the devil's house?
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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