i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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