He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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