I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
