What a fucking waste of an outfit
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
