Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
