Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I have demons in me.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
