I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
Randomize
