I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
