Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Randomize
