Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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