Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
