Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
operation have a gay friend backfired
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
i need some magic done to my vagina
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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