just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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