More tranny stories later!
Swine flu. Run for my life!
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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