That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
