Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
