No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize