I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
